I hate it when he does this. Good thing he’s snoring, so I know he’s just asleep. Still, it’s disconcerting to come home and see both horses laying flat out in the pasture.

He won’t be nearly so relaxed come Saturday, and neither will I. Having grown up around mares, I had no inkling of male hygiene:

1.) Check to make sure there are no prospective boyfriends, elderly neighbors, or Brownie troops with a line of sight to the proceedings. Though of course they’re probably going to show up unexpectedly ANYWAY once you’re in the middle of things. Prepare a good explanation.

2.) Trim your fingernails short. (starting to get a bad feeling…..) Assemble horse, hose, and your sense of humor (plus, ideally, Excalibur cleanser and perhaps thin rubber gloves).

3.) Use hose (or damp sponge) to get the sheath and its inhabitant wet. Uh, that is, do this in a *civilized* fashion with due warning to the horse; he is apt to take offense if an icy-cold hose blasts unexpectedly into his personal regions 😉

4.) Now introduce your horse to Mr Hand . (Mr. Hand????? small scream…..)

It gets worse, far worse, from there…… The vet is coming on Saturday to show us how it’s done, on both horses.